Strike Witches – First Impressions Review
Strike Witches is a new anime released this season by Konami and Gonzo, intending to answer the question “How can we make a sequel to Sky Girls but sell more figures?” “How can we combine the hardcore appeal of a mecha anime, with the heartful joys of a moétic harem?”
The heart of Berlin is aflame?!
This is a perpetual theme of interest among Otaku, with previous solutions to the puzzle including such luminary milestones as Macross ’s bridge bunnies, GunBuster’s teen age pilots, and Gunslinger Girl’s killer lolis. Even as we speak Macross Frontier is trying to update it’s formula to today’s moér and trappier standards.
Strike Witches imagines an alternate WWII universe, where in 1939 the earth is beset by Sudden Alien Invasion ™, allowing all of our favorite combatant countries (and their lovely war machines) to team up in a sort of WWII All Stars without all that messy politics and ideology getting in the way of our enjoyment.
It’s the JAM er.. WORMS er… alien of the week!
So far so good. SAI are a staple of anime, especially alternate history anime and it’s undeniable that you can’t have heartful cuteness while dealing with the realities of the Second World War. I do think it a bit odd (considering that this comes from Japan) that starting in 1939 allows Germany to get off the hook from the invasion of Poland, but does not avoid Japan’s nationalistic aggression and atrocities in the East. *shrug*
With our mecha needs properly lined up, Konami and Gonzo go onto justify a caravan of cuties under the pretext that the aliens can only be battled by magic. Therefore what the armies of the world need to survive the onslaught are (regrettably) not nuclear-powered walking Panzers, but cute teenage girls who happen to be Witches. Rather than fly perched on brooms (such as the venerable Nimbus 2000), or the always stylish bicycle, our valkyries are equipped with mechanical legs vaguely inspired by some of the more famous fighters of the era. As you might expect we are treated to the full gamut of moétic appeal in our Witches. They posses the full compliment of attributes (from megane to d-cup) and charatypes (from genki to stoic) guaranteed to suit the most profitable portion of the otaku demographic’s all tastes. Did I mention they spawn mimi-ears when using magic? Moé!
Who could ask for anything moé?
Such flimsy pretexts were already offered in the frankly atrocious OAV of the same name that appeared about a year ago. That effort failed by providing almost no action, very little mecha fan-service, and all around poor production values. It seems that the new TV series has learned from its predecessor. The new show opens with a wonderful aerobatic combat sequence, and significantly adds to the WWII mecha service by equipping the girls with famous heavy machine guns. It doesn’t end there however as new WWII era fighters and super aircraft carriers painstakingly rendered in 3D demonstrate that the mecha delights won’t end with the girls.
That is a beautiful rear end…
Pure porno!
I came to Strike Witches with trepidation, expecting the same unwatchable dreck as in the OAV. Instead I found myself captivated by the combat choreography and the WWII mecha. Not only do the girls wield some of the most beautiful firearms of the war (there’s four – count em – four MG 42s in their arsenal!) but moreover the weapons are treated with the proper level of geekish detail that I demand. I nearly cried when I saw our brave squad leader’s machine gun barrel overheat – take that Saving Private Ryan with your ballyhooed technical accuracy! Though… it does beg the question, why they don’t all just adopt the MG 42 with it’s quick change barrels? (^_^);;
Therefore, it is without hesitation, that I can honestly recommend that you skip Strike Witches entirely, and deny to everyone that you have even heard of this series!
For some embarrassingly obvious inexplicable reason, the creators of Strike Witches felt that cute mecha musume in tight shorts, or mini skirts, or shameless plugsuit knock offs, was not enough to guarantee sufficient sales otaku devotion, and so all of our lovely lasses spend the entirety of the series walking around pantless. Technically I think they’re all actually wearing swimsuits, but the effect is unmistakable – a crowd of girls (who look underage) walking around in their panties. Given the high production values and attention to detail of the rest of the series it should come as no surprise then that these derrieres and camel toesare the object of frequent cinematographic interest.
This is the kind of shit cultural difference that makes it impossible for me to say I like anime in polite company!
Which is a shame, because in all other respects this is a series that could have easily become very popular and one of my favorites instead of a guilty (and occasionally irritating) pleasure. However your millage may vary.
For slightly less embarrassing fans-service in the same vein, you’ll want to try Sky Girls. If you want cute girls and fighter jet action that you don’t have to be too ashamed of watching, Macross Frontier is shaping up nicely.
You’re right about the pants, I think the most annoying thing about this series is the lack of pants or even mini-skirts. It’s ridiculous.
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